RELIABLE!? not!

It has become apparent

That you can not rely on family

You can only rely on yourself

Family is thought to be relied on

Simply because they're family

WRONG!

Used and Bruised .... Appreciate

When you have someone sucking the life out of you

You are supposed to get away from them

But what if this someone is your Mother?

What if this someone is your Father?

What if this someone is your life time partner?

Your sister!

Your brother!

I am yet to find the answer!

________________________________

When you can't get what you want

Think for a second

How much will this thing that I want

Affect me in the near future?

So maybe I really want it

But if I don't have it later

I probably would forget about it

BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE!

(N2S)

Decisions! Decisions! Decisions!

Been making decisions my whole life

Decisions you make will affect anyone

 Who loves and cares for you

But you must remember

That the person who will be affected the most

By your decision

Is yourself!

People might not be happy with it

But as long as you are

Go for it!

Your life is lived by you

So live it for you and what you believe in!

Can't trust you =)

People taking advantage of other people

Just remember

What goes around

Comes around

Your lies and deceit

Have taught me not to trust you

I have love for you

But no trust

This can apply to anyone

From family to friends

Bottom line

Family will always be there

Friends might not

It doesn't make either safe

From being untrustworthy

HEALTH BLOG #1

GENETICLY MODIFIED FOODS

• Junk Foods
• Corn (Anything with corn ingredient)
• Soy 
• Canola 
• Sugar Beets

Go for organics =)

Refference:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HYNBY5IKAQ&list=PLFE3408714120E383&index=1&feature=plpp_video

Journey

One person can change

But then again

Was it them?

Or you?

Everyone is always saying its someone else.

I have an issue

I thought it was resolved

But, the problem still lingers

Things I've learnt and I'm still learning =)

Due to past experience and just observing

I've come to realise that

Everyone has an opinion

I DEFINATELY have opinions on everything I see

And anyone and everyone I meet

Sometimes I won't though...

Simply because

What I see happening isn't worth worrying about

Or

What I hear simply doesn't tickle my fancy ;P

(I always find that saying "tickle my fancy" funny haha)

Or

I just really don't give a fu$$!

It's taken me time and practice to get to the stage that I'm at with not giving a fu$$

But everything I went through most definately got me here

And I'm loving it.

I'll admit it

Sometimes I slip

And things get to me

Or

Things really do bug me secretly

SO!

To the point!

I've learnt that

You can't let every little thing bug you

You can't let people's thoughts and words get to you

If you let other peoples opinions get to you

Then your not really living life for yourself

And most of my life

I lived to keep mainly my parents happy

It was hard

Because it meant sacrificing my happiness

But I grew older

And grew tired

Of living life for the happiness of others

So when I finished high school

I stopped

Started slowly living for me

And if you weren't my Mother or Father

Your opinion honestly came in one ear

And out the other

I was already living for them

And that was where I drew the line

They were my only exception to sacrificing my happiness

People disagreeing with your actions can be understandable

Ok!

So you don't like what I'm doing

Nice to know!

Then leave it at that

When you sit around worrying about what other people think

And what they might think of you

It's dead set just living life for them

And honestly

If you do what they think you shouldn't

It really won't kill them

Because what you decide will effect you more than it would anyone else

That doesn't mean

Don't accept constructive criticsm and what not

I mean, just know that its still your decision

And if you make a wrong turn

Pick yourself up

Head forward

Ignore peoples negative bullshu$$

And keep walking!

Negativity should be deleted immediately

Don't need it

I think there is so much that can be spoken about all this

It's just how I try to live my life

I was fortunate to be bullied by most people that are close to me

You all taught me this =)

Don't let Shi$$ people bug you

Worry about yourself and what ever else you need to worry about

Discreet =)

Motivation

Trying to find some

Here are some

Focus on yourself!

Your biggest motivation should be yourself

Others should be your inspiration

If any negatives...DELETE

WAYS TO DELETE:

Stay away from them

Don't listen to them

Do it for you.



.

She my little princess =)

Confusion has hit the roof

Good days turned dim

Im talking smack =P

Feel useless a bit

Feel tired and puffy faced!

I don't think the clothes
 that used to fit me before pregnancy
will fit me after!

Im hungry

She keeps kicking me

She makes me happy

I love my little girl so much

Cant wait till you get here my little munchkin! ;P

I can't hear

Badly need to get my ears cleaned out!

Speed Stack Pumped

Ingredients: Betaine Anhydrous, Creapure Creatine Monohydrate, Glucuronolactone, Carnosyn Beta - Alanine, L-Arginine, Micronized L-Citrulline, Micronized Taurine, Choline Bitartrate, Caffeine.

BETAINE ANHYDROUS (Trimethylglycine):

What is it?

It's a nutritional supplement

May cause:

• diarreha
• stomach upset
• nausea
• increase cholesterol  levels on persons that are obese or with kidney problems

Can be used for depression.

REFERENCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trimethylglycine

_________________________________________________________________________________

CREAPURE CREATINE MONOHYDRATE:

What is it?

Another supplement

May Cause:

• Increase in strength and muscle mass

Recent study shows it has no long term effect on kidneys or liver functions

REFERENCE: http://www.myopure.com.au/creatine-monohydrate.html

_________________________________________________________________________________

GLUCURONOLACTONE:

What is it?

A natural occurring chemical that is important for nearly all connective tissue 

May Cause:

• Detox

REFERENCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glucuronolactone

_________________________________________________________________________________

CARNOSYN BETA - ALANINE:

What is it?

A lactic acid

May Cause:

• Increase in training capacity
• Increase in strength
• A delay in muscle fatigue

REFERENCE: http://www.nutrabio.com/Products/beta_alanine.htm#.UFFVH47rZFI

_________________________________________________________________________________

L-ARGININE:

What is it? 

It's an a-amino acid

May Cause:

• Rapid muscle recovery
• Decrease in blood pressure 
• Lung Inflammation and worsen asthma
• Decrease in stress hormones

REFERENCE:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arginine

_________________________________________________________________________________

MICRONIZED L - CITRULINE

What is it?

It's an a-amino acid

May Cause:

• Reduce muscle fatigue

Rind of watermelon is a good natural source of citruline

REFERENCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citrulline

_________________________________________________________________________________

 MICRONIZED TAURINE

What is it?

It's an amino acid

May Cause:

• Detoxifying

_________________________________________________________________________________

CHOLINE BITARTATE

What is it?

It's a type of salt

May Cause:

• Enhanced athletic performance
• Reduction in cholesterol levels
• Lower blood pressure
• Improvement in memory
• Stomach aches
• Diarrhoea  

REFERENCE:http://www.livestrong.com/article/212268-what-is-choline-bitartrate/

_________________________________________________________________________________

CAFFEINE

We all know what caffeine does =D

_________________________________________________________________________________

9 weeks and 5 days

So today the symptoms I had were pretty usual

Better though

I woke up feeling awesome this morning

And then I made the stupid mistake of eating eggs

I really think I should stay away from them

They hurt my stomach so much

Though I know its really good for baby

Other then that, same old nausea

Its worst when Im in my Fiances room

There is a scent in there that smells really awful to me

Funny thing:

Im the only one that smells it

Superhero nose!

I hate that feeling I get in my stomach where it needs to eat

Its not like "Oh Im hungry"

Its more like "I have no intestines...mmmm"

So tired now though from going to Ikea

Was nice though

It was great to really get out

I loved it

Picturing our house and furniture

It was awesome

Very tired

9 weeks and 2 days

I'm thankful for everyday that passes and I go along further into my pregnancy

I can't wait for my little baby to be born

Symptoms for today include

Nausea...

I was fine this morning then towards the afternoon I've been feeling sick

And been feeling that way ever since

Dizzy, with slight headaches when I was at church

My first craving ever....for pig

I need to vent on here though

First of all

I'm more then happy to deal with my own problems

To be honest I wouldn't have it any other way

You warned me, I got burnt

Now you want nothing to do with me

So be it!

I don't know anything

I'm going with my insticts

They telling me not to worry about all this

It will get better

Well I hope it does soon

The one person I normally turn to isn't around at the moment

But I'm just going to be strong for my little one

I'm in a ditch

But I refuse to stay there

I refuse to sit there and be upset about falling

I fell, and now I'm going to get up

Might struggle

But there is a man I can always count on

That would be God

<3

THANKYOU FATHER!

6 weeks and 2 days

Its been a while but I just came to post a pic of my 6 week belly

Im exhausted, and on top of that, Im sick, I am trying VERY hard to just listen to my body and eat what it wants.

I'm real busy with school too and have no time to be tired but I am so TIRED baby keeps taking all my energy

Anyway, my belly shot

5 weeks and 3 days

I went to the doctors today...and NOTE: cramps during early pregnancy, are perfectly fine, as long as there is no bleeding! Took a blood test as well for me and the baby

Happy =)

Today I've just been crampy and tired and hungry! But there is nothing here that I can eat...

Went window shopping with the other half too

Tried doing work today and OMG made me so tired.

Im so hungry but I dont know what to eat, got to eat something...Anyway Im too tired to stay on

and blog any further

5 weeks and 2 days

I've hit a rock bottom

Thanks to my pregnancy I go in and out of depression. I haven't been able to study, do my work....I have to work extra hard to pass now. I believe I can do it. Because I have to do it, at least for my baby

Going to the doctors tomorrow, I just need reasurance that everything is going smoothly with my baby!

I hope everything goes well

As far as wedding plans go?

Im having a wedding soon!

I have a lot of fears, but more just excitement

I refuse to focus on negatives, cos mistakes have been made. My baby is no mistake, but the timing is just a tad wrong haha

Negatives include finance, rushing everything now, cant do things the way we planned

But I couldnt be happier, I accept the responsibilities and I wouldnt have it any other way. I'm carrying life, and I think its a wonderful blessing. I'm happy despite what anyone says...Couldnt care less people, I love my baby, and you will too =P

Symptoms today? and Yesterday!

Yesterday...Constant crying...and cramping

Today...Less crying, tantrums...cramping bearly hurt but I felt it still, TIRED AS!

Today has been a rough day... Stressing me out and shit...NO MORE!!!

From now on? Its smooth sailing....if I get stressed Im just going to leave what ever it is thats stressing me...Dont want anything happening to baby!

5 weeks and 1 day

So, its 2:24 in the morning. I went to sleep pretty early but I had to wake up for dialysis, and I haven't been able to go to sleep.

Yesterday I took my parents to a function, I was already tired because I woke up early in the morning and couldn't go back to bed.

Symptoms today included light cramping, I've been craving biscuits and I'm really hot right now.

I'm too tired to blog,

Anyway other symptoms too included head aches, CONSTANT on and off

Yesterday I chucked the maddest fit, throwing over the table, chair and bins because my fiance was being a hypocrite.

Im so tired.

5 weeks prego

So yesterday I told my parents, The night before that, my Fiance had told his.

He said his parents didn't take it very well. His mum wasn't surprised and neither was his grandma. His dad however was real happy. When he mentioned marriage his grandma walked off. I was kind of offended when he told me that, but oh well... she was upset. I don't know though, to me it just seems like she doesn't like me.

We told my parents he did all the talking... I think I probably should've been the one to tell my parents but it made him feel better so I was like "oh what the hell" *shrug*. My mum cried, and my dad dissed me too the max, saying to my Fiance that his gonna have a hell of a life with me because I don't listen. That really pissed me off, made me go cold to the point where I don't care what he thinks. I knew my mum would be heaps upset. But she didn't diss me thankfully... I still feel cold towards my dad, I can't help it, I don't feel remorse, I'm having a kid, whats done is done, and Im happy.

My parents are just worried about their reputation, I'm really sorry, but I'm not.

After we told my parents we went and spoke to my Fiance's mum. She wasn't too happy at all either. I think they would've preferred for us not to keep the baby. I detest the idea, the thought even. I love my bubba already. She was pretty much scared, it kind of seemed like she thought I was going to be a neglectful mum. I was calm about it though cos I know she's just worried but yeah once again I couldn't care less what anyone thinks, when it comes to negativity, my Fiance's family seems to just focus on the negative... I mean that's normal cos it's just reality but DAMN man! The more I write about this conversation, the more I get mad. I'm just glad I was ok the entire time, but thinking back on it, I'm mad now.

I'm nervous about living with them when baby is born so I don't know, might need to chat with the other half about that, I guess I just need closure that they won't be all up in my business.

Today is real ugly weather...

Anyway discussing finance with the other half we do things quite differently, I just have to submit which is hard for some reason... I don't mind doing it his way as long as I know whats going on and it makes sense to me, as in I understand whats  going on.

I have to get my shit together in school, work hard and take good care of myself and baby. Other half bought me a yoga mat yesterday because I want to start prenatal yoga.

This morning I have sore breasts a bit moody, I'm annoyed with yesterday, my dad and my other halfs mum. Thats all I have this morning, oh and yesterday I just got real tired real early. Im so annoyed so Im gonna stop blogging for now.

Belly Shot 

PREGNANT

March 12, 2012 I got up in the morning and decided to take a pregnancy test

And this was the result (two lines = positive, one line = negative)

I was shaking and just really shocked

I called up my fiance and told him the news

While breaking out into tears

He was calm

Made a doctors appointment

and took another test there and it came out negative

So took blood test

Fiance believed I wasn't pregnant

I knew I was

We waited eagerly to hear whether we were pregnant or not

When we were told we were pregnant I was shocked

And scared

But now I'm happy and I'm this big now (4 weeks and 4 days)

Nothing much besides a little fat haha

Mood swings have been quite bad

Always tired

Started spotting

In the mornings when I blow my nose

There's a bit of blood

I get head aches on and off

My body temperature always changes drastically

Eating a lot more

Finance is turning out to be quite a bitch

__________________________________

When something negative is crystal clear

There is really no need to wallow in it

Everything is going to be just fine =)

I know it!

Life

Life has its own expectations

Its up to you whether you fill those expectations or not

Some need guidance

Where others need to be bothered

Lifes expectations seems to only be from society

Whatever society expects is what life expects

Sick of trying to be happy

Despite what Im feeling

But you must stay strong right?

weakness

Sin is anger

That's why I run from it

Anger isn't fun

I will never understand

Why people boast about being angry

It doesn't make you a good person

It makes you weak

Anger is almost like being drunk

You don't think

Do things that you normally wouldn't

Say things that you'll regret later

When you let anger take over

Nothing good comes from it

Everyone gets angry

It's a part of being human

But just because you get angry

Doesn't make you special

If you get angrier than someone else

Your not special

Your not all that

Your actually WEAK!

Happy thoughts anyone?

Trying to write about something happy

Deep, mushy and all 

Here goes

After the rain, there's a rainbow

With me

When its pissing down rain

It can be soooo...sad doesn't even cut it

But it'll have to do

But when the rain stops

The rainbow is so fucking awesome

You know how you have a sweet moment with a crush or blah blah

You get butterflies and all mushy like

I get tingles in my heart

Its my high

LOL

Well this is a weird happy blog

Hopeless at writing

Anyway back to depressing blogs

Wondering about the past

What is it about the past that makes us cling on

Is it the memory?

The memory of the feeling?

Being hurt?

Or being happy?

See I can think back to my childhood

A bad time

For example

When I would get hit for doing something bad

Yeah actually it does kind of hurt

But its more funny than anything

Then you think about verbal abuse

And wonder why it still hurts

To replay that moment in your head

Its like your heart can rewind to that moment

And feel everything all over again

But all the things I have let go

My heart can't remember

I think thats called actually moving on

Moving on being something I've spent years working on

I'm quite good at

But then again

I have no idea where I'm going with this

Its funny how you slowly start to see where you stand with people

Slowly but surely you start to see

You see how far they'll go

Should you compare it to yourself?

How far you'll go?

Maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't...

Problem with actually comparing is that...

It really hurts when you do the math

And see that you might go further

Then they actually want to

So when you do the math

And sum it all up

What do you do then?

Find someone who will actually

Go as far as you would?

Or make an exception?

As for me?

I make the exception!

When you love someone

You really have no choice but to make the exception

But I'd be lying if I said I was ok

I've never been so confused in my life

Why is only one of us confused?

Am I being insecure?

Everything I have learnt

Im all confused

Why am I wrong

Why was I wrong

Am I wrong

Wondering...it never gets you anywhere

I've learnt that from every relationship I've been in

See when you'd go further then they would

It makes you wonder

How much...

How much?

It brings anger, confusion

But then again

Everyone is different

Everyone has their own way of doing things

I wish my way of doing things wasn't so extravagant

I need to pause for a moment

And think...

Everyone sees wrong

They have no idea

And yet they think they do

Couldn't really care less for their thoughts

Annoying

MYOB

Up until today I still think men are the most ugliest type of creatures in the world

I can never trust each and everyone of them

I gotta hate some

Men can be so uptight and 'dominant'

Some think their so dominating that they're really just cowards

Some walk with that swag, saying thats just how they walk

Swag wont get you anywhere REAL good

Matter of fact you look like a retard that can't walk properly

I have so much anger towards men

And lately I've been taking it out on my man

I never realised how much I actually can't stand men

But some men I love

Some men I trust

Very few though

If its hard for me to trust my Dad

Then imagine anyone else....

When younger, I used to hate women

Because all they would do is bitch, go behind your back

Then I learnt that men do the exact same thing

Only thing I have to learn, is that not all men and women are like this

But the life goes on

We move on

Without looking back

I love you so much

But I will see you again