You go from wonder to wonder

Questions arise in your mind

Answers fill your heart

And then you realise

...

I choose....

Life has so may choices...

choose wisely huh?

it's hard when your not too sure what awaits

after the chosen choice has been made

or when you don't consider consequences

consequences aren't bad (totally)

Its there to teach you

Give you experience

In some ways

Bad choices are good

....

Good choices are better

...

Wise choices are essential

Fantacy

The secret of life

is enjoying the passage of time

any fool can do it

no body knows how we got to the top of the hill

since we're all on our way down

we might as well enjoy the ride

its ok to feel afraid

dont let it stand in your way

since we're all here for a while

we might as well show some style

give us a smile

isnt that a lovely ride

try not to try too hard

its just a lovely ride

the thing about time

is that time isn't really real

WHY I LOVE YOU

Tuesday 7th December
11:40pm

So I thought, since Im good at writing down my feelings, I would =)

I love you because...

where do I start?

I love you because you take me as I am

You've accepted me for everything I am, everything I think I am, you've accepted me for who I am

Even though we may view things quite differently, you still accept my ways of seeing things and to respect it as well means a lot to me

You've put up with a lot, and I can see your willing to continue too...well I think you should =P haha jks =)

No, but really, I know you would put up with my shit just because...you wanna be with me

I love you for it

You've changed me in a way that I dont like...sorry if Im not making sense...but you know I hate showing my emotions...and since we've been together...I haven't felt like...so alive emotionally...you've woken my heart up, which was MIA for a long time...

You make it ok for me to be emotional...I still hate it though!

I just love you so much, it hurts...

Most of all, I love you because you loved me and still do...

I thought with an attitude like mine, I was unloveable, or there was no chance...hence why my heart was MIA too the days when it came to boys/men/old men =P

hehe I JUST LOVE YOU! thats my answer...

I have no idea who you are...

Who are you?

My minds confused...

So Im not gonna care...

Far as I'm concerned

I'm numb with whatever happens between you and your...well...my Dad

So>>> I don't know what your trying to prove...

Whatever it is

Why are you trying to prove it to me?

I don't care

And it's going to stay that way!

You!

There is a feeling, an unpleasant feeling

I can't stand

It's the feeling of not being humble

Being ungreatful

Its hard to be greatful and humble

I don't care how people see me

They may think I'm all that I wanna be

But inside, Im not

And people who aren't greatful, are never happy (well not completely)

Too busy wanting all the shit they can't have

Its a normal thing of course

But there is a limit.

If Im not careful I just might exceed that limit

God help me!

But Why?

I'm a train wreck in the morning

I'm a bitch in the afternoon

Every now and then without warning

I can be really mean towards you

I'm a puzzle yes indeed

Ever complex in every way

And all the pieces aren't even in the box

And yet you see the picture clear as day

I'm a host of imperfection

I don't know why you love me...


- Beyonce

Don't worry, be happy =)

So I let go

Just let it free

Let it be, pretty much

Do whatever makes you happy

If fake boobs make you happy

GO GET EM!

Fuck what anyone says =)

Im tired...so GOODBYE!

Mr Intentional

we rise to ego


by being insecure


the advice that we go desperately searching for


to engage in denial


to admit we're immature


open up your eyes


stop blaming other people


its nobody elses fault


accept the truth about you


you know that life goes on with out you


don't worship my hurt feelings


the only help I need to live


is unprofessional


the only world I have to give


is not material


if you need much more than this


Im not available


-Lauryn Hill

SO LAZY

does it hurt to lose sight of everything around you?

or everything that was around you?

I think it does

feeling like I can't really turn back now

need to do something about it

need to stop talking shit and actually start doing it

watching people struggle, makes me paranoid

I can't just say it's not going to happen to me

but I also can't jump to the conclusion that it will

can't jump to conclusions at all pretty much

faith...hope...love

faith dies here

hope dies here

love lives on

Random Thoughts

Those who speak without listening...are a waste of time to listen too

shut the fuck up, and listen, and listen well

don't question it...listen first, then decide

then speak =)

I don't really give a fuck about shit that goes on outside my world

well not yet at least

whatever is easiest to do, is the weakest thing to do

whatever feels good, is usually bad

right is wrong and wrong is right

sooo....

do it your way

doing anything in anger is wrong

so since Im angry at my assignment, it would be wrong for me to take action because I am angry =)

GOODNIGHT!

PROCRASTINATE ME

A strong person is one who loves everyone, despite practically...ANYTHING!

Don't for one second ever think your strong unless you can love someone who would kill you happily...

Stop looking at other peoples faults, and start looking at your own!

Before you try to fix anyone else

Fix yourself first

Forgiving someone completely includes letting go of what they did

When what has been done no longer affects you

Then you have truly forgiven

Your not weak if you can't, you just have to try harder, and if you still can't, then you haven't really tried at all. Time and thought was wasted on trying, if anything is possible and you couldn't do it. 

(Something I try to live by, not easy mate...not easy)

Everything takes effort...

Lets do this...

DO IT!

One who thinks they know it all, knows nothing at all

so SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Answers lead to more Questions

So many thoughts

So used to keeping them to myself

Now to share them

Why do I ask and not give?

Hmmm...realising, analysing...

What a dick! (me)

How do you deal with problems without killing yourself?

How do you fix a problem, when the problem is, yourself?

Knowing the problem is always first step

But what's next?

Yeah sure, work on it....

But how???????????????????

WHAT!

Stop wanting

Give with everything you have

Be thankful when you recieve nothing

Be more thankful when you get something in return

In other words

Get over yourself

=)

they say, "Honesty is the best policy"

Load of shit!

SUFFERING at the moment

And I deserve every last bit of it

He said that life will bite you when you try to make things right, after you've done it wrong

It most definately has bitten me

Love is a funny thing

And I think I only just learnt what it really is...Im pretty sure

There's two types of love

One that can break

And the other?

Well...like how a mother loves her child

The love that can break, can be dangerous

The other?

Is safe

Love that can break, can kill

The other?

Can only love

Love that can break, can die

The other?

Can only live on

What they both have in common?

THEY BOTH HURT


In the end, everything happens for a reason

Every bad thing that comes out of doing right

Is a lesson to be learnt

And lessons learnt can only make you stronger

Doing the right thing is never easy and it shows strength

Doing wrong only makes you weak

So when you try to make it right you need to be strong

Because life punishes you

How ever much you hurt or did wrong to one person

Life will hurt you twice as much

They call it Karma

I think the proper term is just 'life'

ACCEPT IT

I just realised,

 I have no idea who I am...

Im a selfish retard

Being selfish is an embarassing trait to have...

I feel embarassed just listening to selfish people

Consideration is appealing

Be considerate

Don't be a selfish fuck head

Just going to play a game

I remember all the days

Breakin it off

If you drink

Never know how much I love you

I'm taking you back

Is it true?

Sad songs

Its just me and you baby

I bet your wondering how I knew

Gotta change my answering machine

(Incase you didn't motice, they were first line lyrics to random song, bothered much!)

Benefit of the doubt

Stage I'm at

Taking it day by day

And I must say I am loving it =)

So....

Crashed a little, swirved a bit, and almost hit a tree

LOL =)

(EL OH EL SMILEY FACE)

Nothing...

Silent...shares the same letters as...Listen

One look upon his face,

one last breath

before drowning in his eyes,

a soft caress in a bed of lies.

As the stars aligned

my heart was his

and I had died…

It’s when I close my eyes 
Where my reality 
Becomes my destiny 

A sad fallacy  
Of a girl who pushed everyone a w a y 
The coward never chose to stay 
 
Who builds BARRIERS
Instead of b-r-i-d-g-e-s 
To heal her stitches  

Who b r o k e  hearts
To use those pieces of stone 
   [ To protect her own ]

A sordid story 
Of a girl who never knew how to say sorry 

Isolated and broken 
Unanimously out spoken 

But when I open my eyes
I step out of the book 
And look… 

Back at those truths
     As only a nightmare 
Convincing myself I was happy
And that life was fair 

She was the girl
With the broken smile.
No one knew it was broken though,
Because she never stopped smiling
Her little smile
No matter how hard life became.
She kept her past
Behind her smile.

Its turned...

Happiness gone

I can do this!

Sooner or later the tables would've turned =)

It's not a good thing, but I'm so happy =)

=)

It's amazing the impact one person can have on other people...

Tell it...tell it how it is...

Minds set and Im focused

Slight distractions, but it's ok =)

My plans may have slightly changed but...I think it's going to work

FUCK!

It's time to fix my mess...

So much to think about... how about just sitting back, and thinking about nothing....

I'm listening

He makes a good point

Don't think for one second your time went to waste

I think I am weak

I need time to think

To think to myself

What to do?

I got it good

But I'm just thinking outside the box

Let it go

If your mamma is still livin

Treat your mamma right

Don’t be like me 

And let that moment slip away

And be careful

Cos you can’t take back what you say

To my real mamma

If your listening

I’m letting it go

To my father

I forgive you

Cos you didn’t know

That the pain 

Was preperation for my destiny

And one more thing lord

Let my son be a better man then me

-Kirk Franklin

Two's better then none

Someone told me to remember that "there is always someone out there better than you" that's true, but no one can be better at being you then you =)

Two can play at a foul game....if I'm dead to you, then I'd like to remain that way...nice knowing you...

DUECES

The one thing that keeps me going...through the real rough times...is knowing that other peeps have it so much harder then me

Therefore I should suck it up cos I got it pretty good

OVERDOSE

I know that you will kill me

Cos Im sweating, tweekin, phenin,

Never been so high

But damn I love this feeling

Koz Im aching, breaking, shaking

Will I make it through the night?

Can't nobody help

I did it to myself

And I swear I'd do it again and again.

-Jamie Foxx

Maybe one should not think...every once in a while...just not think....about anything

Sick

There are people that love you

Then there are people that actually really love you

Spot the difference!

I don't give a *****

Something I learnt about confidence was to literally not give a fuck...

Not give a fuck about what people think especially

Only persons opinion that you should care about is your own (when it comes to appearance)

If you don't like something about yourself, change it!

If you can change what you don't like about yourself, quit complaining and change it! (physically)

If you wanna wear fish perfume and get odd stares....DO IT! haha

Pretty much what Im saying is, accept what you can't change about yourself...embrace it...

For example if you know your a fuck head and you can't help it....you be a proud fuck head =) if it's who you are

haha exaggerating much, but you get the picture!

If people don't like that your a fuck head...don't change for them... if they can't accept who you are then they can get fucked =)

But if you don't like being a fuck head....then STOP BEING A FUCK HEAD! =P

Never try to 'fit in'...why? ...because if you have to try in the first place you obviously don't belong there! haha "BELONG"

YOU UGLY!!!!

Your gorgeous!!!! Don't hide it or cover it up....

When you do hide it, and try to cover it up, you look...pretty UGLY!

Dangerously Inlove

tittle speaks for itself

"Can't do this thing called 'life', without you here with me"

-Beyonce

Be yourself....

hmmmm...two words speak for itself

DO IT!

My motivation...the future....hmmmm hehehe

to get on with life

a life of my own

thats what you wanted for me, so be prepared =)

GOODBYE

Case Closed

Intuition...in my experience is right, most the time.

So is it right or wrong this time?

No evidence

No case

Case closed

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Respect means alot

Everybody wants it

Though, it seems like the people with the least amount of it,

Want it the most

BUNCH OF WIMPS!
(that how you spell it?...MEH!)

blahhhhh

Where is this negativity coming from?

Smile for me =)

Rage courses through your body...the reason is never really worth it.

Because eventually it becomes the past, but for some reason, in that moment, the future and the past don't matter. It takes just that one moment to fuck up everything. Soon enough it will be laughed upon. So in that moment.....THINK!!!

Be slow to become angry....anger isn't something to be boastful about. I mean, if your angry all the time, then how can you ever be really happy?... and whats so good about not being happy? Let go...how can one be happy when holding onto negativity?


You can be happy actually, but for how long?...how long will you be happy for until the past that you've never let go of comes back and bites. Not worth it if it's in the past. Life's too short to hold onto things that make you unhappy.... things that make you happy are the things that you should take a hold of, and never let go. As for the other shit, shrug and walk away...

Easier said then done

Why can't you just trust?
 Must you always put something in your mind to cause drama in your mind? 
The only person your affecting is yourself. 
You and I both know contentment is just around the corner, but I can see you.
I see you finding anything to distract yourself from contentment. 
Contentment isn't such a bad place to be at.

No Idea

They play it safe

Quick to assassinate what they do not understand

They move in packs

And justing more and more fear with every act of hate on one another

They feel most comfortable in groups

Less guilt to swallow

They are us

This is what we have become

Afraid to respect an individual

A single person within a circumstance can move one to change

To love herself

To evolve

- Erykah Badu

POINT BEING?

Nada, ZILCH!

THERE IS NO POINT!

Tell Him

Let me patient

Let me be kind

Make me unselfish

Without being blind

Though I may suffer

I'll envy it not

And endure what comes

-Laryn Hill

Tattoo

I've been thinking about getting a tattoo, Im not too sure I might get my mothers name on my shoulder or something but I was looking at tattoos =)

One I like

But yeah I really hate tattoos on girls, quite ironic how I'm thinking of getting one huh?

Yeah actually I haven't really told anyone that I want to get one...might get it...Im just thinking..... hehe Yeah I want my mums name hehe

Dogs I want to choose from =)

Bichon Frise

Bullmastiff

Chow

Collie

Dogue de Bordeaux

Finish Spitz

French Bulldog

German Spitz Klein

Great Dane

Greyhound

Hungarian Vizsla

Maremma Sheepdog

Mastiff

Newfoundland

Norwich Terrier

Old English Sheepdog

Pharoah Hound

Portugese Water Dog

Pug

Pomeranian

One day I intend on getting a dog, actually when I move out =) Ima get one of these or two =)